


Posted Drafts

by daggerix



Category: IZONE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Ficlet Collection, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28868361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daggerix/pseuds/daggerix
Summary: A collection of ficlets.
Relationships: Kim Chaewon (IZONE)/Miyawaki Sakura
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	1. i.

**Author's Note:**

> Since I dont usually have time to write full length os or a series, but i have like gazillions(i meant a few) prompts and ideas which was written short because i cant continue on, this collection is made especially for those.  
> Pairings will be added more depending on what i have but since they’re ficlet, all will be under 1k words and unconnected, random big mess of whatever. Most importantly, they’re raw, basically drafts but published.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i. 
> 
> ssamkkura/angst/one-sided pining

Chaewon’s eyes would always be fixed onto that one girl, whether they’re alone, or in a fully packed room as if it was the most natural thing ever, as if she was a helpless metal, attracted toward the human form of a magnet. Or as if she, Chaewon is a moth and her, Sakura, is the flame. 

She watches as the pink haired girl leaned forward to talk into the walkie-talkie in her hand, calling for a name that isn’t hers. And she continues to be fixated as the person on the other side responded.

Swiftly Sakura burst into laughter, a melodic sound that seemed to strum Chaewon’s strings of the heart. There was joy to be seeing the one she loved most being happy. But there was also a tinge of unmistakable jealousy that stings and clenched her chest into a ball of tightness that makes it unbearable to breathe. She felt suffocated. Irritational.

Chaewon thought she would be okay with that at first, to be on the sidelines, just watching and wishing for Sakura’s happiness. But the longer it went on, the deeper the affection had sank its grimy claws in her mind and her heart. And that no matter how hard and crafty Chaewon gave herself reasons to be rational, spinning logic around to please herself, the fact had still remains.

That laughter, that beautifully carved bright smile wasn’t because of her and neither was directed to her.

“If she’s the sun, then maybe I’m Icarus.”

Chaewon is free to gaze at her beloved even when it would burn her eyes. And she could also fly near her sun but not closer, and never higher. Pushing through would meant her wings melting and inevitably bringing her to a final crash to the ground.

Because her sun was someone else's sun first. And that she, Chaewon was a mere bystander in that small universe of theirs. The gold band on her finger serves as a reminder for Chaewon that Sakura was the unattainable, the one Chaewon can't reach, the one who is hers only in her dream.

The two of them are just not meant to be. And she wasn't supposed to yearn for more.

So she kept watching, wishing, and praying for her own happiness from the distance.


	2. ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ii. 
> 
> ssamkkura/rival au/idk what this is but ive been wanting it for weeks

“Oi! Miyawaki! You're blocking the way, get out of here!” Chaewon screamed and with it the small crowd in front of her immediately quieted down. However the group of girls who were surrounding the one named Miyawaki Sakura did not disperse right away. 

Instead, they all silently watched and made way for the two to lock eyes. 

“Stop barking Won, you and your anger gonna make those forehead lines be permanent,” coolly, Sakura stepped out of the crowd, walking closer toward the other girl. She stopped short, just inches away as her white sneakers met Chaewon’s. And yet the brunette did not flinch nor back away. She held her ground and slightly tilted her chin out, a brave gesture that had Sakura applauding internally.

“Better then you who will be deaf in five more years because of how much screaming your fan club did in your face,”

An ‘oohh,’ was heard from the crowd but the person who accidentally blurted that out had stayed hidden. Each and every one of them had not moved from their spot, watching everything unfold before them as it was normal. It was after all a daily occurrence. Almost a routine, and it would not be an exaggeration that someone was keeping records of these small fights between the two.

Sakura and Chaewon are the most popular rivals at school, one dubbed as the heart-throb prince who had everyone charmed with her visuals and wit, whereas the other was called the ice princess as she would oftentimes looked cold and unapproachable. Despite the pair being called the prince and princess, the two of them however belonged in the opposing kingdoms as they often wage war with each other. 

‘They are like Tom and Jerry, mortal enemies,’ people would comment whenever anyone asked. ‘Always fighting, from grades to sports and even the littlest thing,’ another would chime in. The competitiveness did not stop in class, the pair also would argue in public often, calling each other names and trying to one up the other. Most of the time they are just satisfied if they could win in petty fights. Or embarrass the other. And the whole school knew of this, even the teachers do.

Luckily both Sakura and Chaewon are the school’s top students so the teachers had turned a blind eye toward their fights. Whereas the students are too powerless to stop the pair, especially when Sakura had a whole fan club backing her up while Chaewon had Eunbi and the gang behind her. There was really nothing that could be done except letting the rivalry be.

Sakura suddenly winced when she was painfully reminded of the other day when she had lost. It was unfair because she was unprepared, caught off guard. That day had gone rather smoothly without her rival in sight when Sakura accidentally tripped down the stairs. Even though she had landed gracefully, Chaewon who had witnessed her stumble from the end of the corridor had told everyone about the incident. Because of it Sakura’s fan club had her sent to the school’s infirmary to get her legs checked barely ten minutes after. The school’s nurse had to convince each and every one that their precious prince was fine and nothing was broken.

Therefore, with that embarrassment still fresh in her mind, Sakura thought that there would be no way she would lose this time. Chaewon shouldn’t even win, especially when she was the one who picked the fight first. 

“We’re here first, Won. You can turn around and use the other path home,” Sakura said, lowering her tone.

“What?”

Sakura saw it, Chaewon’s hand moving upwards. She had expected to be pushed back or to the side but instead, the brunette had grabbed Sakura by the collar and pulled her closer. There was barely any gap left between their faces, and she was panicking internally when Chaewon had instead smirked due to their close proximity.

“Why don't you move instead, Miyawaki,” 

“What if I don't want to?”

At that point Sakura could smell her rival. The other girl was fresh and minty which suits her nickname as the ice princess. But it was an uncomfortable position to be in and she consciously held her breath in before pushing away the hand that was grabbing her collar. Chaewon clicked her tongue but it was Sakura who had the last say.

“Your breath stinks!” she said before walking away, leaving the brunette flushed red in her spot. Immediately the crowd finally dispersed, with most of them following the prince as they screamed and gushing out praises on how cool Sakura was.

Realising she had lost the fight, Chaewon quietly went home but not without swearing vengeance and promising herself that she would win the next time they butted heads. 

Feeling defeated she threw her whole body on the sofa and groaned, waiting. She was wishing on getting a winning streak but of course Sakura would win, she was amazing after all. And Chaewon undoubtedly knows that, simply because they both had been keeping a huge secret from everyone that knows them, especially ones from school.

A couple of minutes passed before the front door was unlocked from outside. 

Chaewon ignored the small “I’m home!” which was being said by the other person but her resolve to sulk was destroyed as soon as a kiss landed on her forehead.

“Sorry for today, Wonnie,”

Chaewon glared at the grinning Sakura. “That was cruel, my breath did not stink!”

  
They were rivals in public, but in private, Sakura and Chaewon are secretly long time lovers. 

Sakura was laughing merrily before her arm was lightly hit from below. 

“Baby!” Chaewon whined yet again.

“Yes Wonnie, you smelled like fresh mints,”

“Now, tell me what you should’ve said today,”

Sakura sighed but her eyes were softly gazing into Chaewon’s, locked and unfaltering. With a charming smile, she complied with the request, lowering her voice into a seductive whisper.

“You, Kim Chaewon, are my favourite scent in the whole wide world.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rivals secretly lovers *ticks box*


	3. iii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> iii. 
> 
> ssamkkura/angst/idk

Sakura fumbled around with her keys. With a click, her car beeped and unlocked. She spun around and was met with Chaewon’s eyes looking straight back at her. The short haired brunette had a scarf covering her neck which was supposed to warm her up but it had also covered almost half of her face, for privacy. So the only thing Sakura could stare is her eyes which had seemed to sparkle with every second their gaze met.

“Hey,” Chaewon suddenly called out.

She held her hands together. Being around Sakura has always made her anxious for no apparent reason.

“I’m sorry I had to drag you there.”

Sakura shrugged in response. She tried to make herself look nonchalant about it when it was clear she was bothered a little. 

“No worries. I have nothing to do anyway,” she said, which was a lie. But Chaewon wouldn’t know that. Its best that she wasn’t aware how fast Sakura had sprinted from her family’s home and sped her way over. Embarrassed would be an understatement, it had also painted her as needy because all that Chaewon had sent was a single text saying, ‘I need help.’

Only when she had arrived that Sakura was informed of what was going on. But she hadn’t regret that decision to, or rather she was glad it was her that was called over.

They both got into the car, with Chaewon in the passenger seat like she was used to, like she was meant to be there.

“I mean, I can’t think of anyone else.”

Sakura faced Chaewon once again and smiled. 

“It’s okay Won.”

Despite the crease of eyebrows, Chaewon nodded. 

Sakura started the car and drove away. The drive to the broadcasting station was heavy and had felt suffocating. Even the radio wasn’t helping as the station had played heartbreaking songs one after another as if there was a segment for the heartbroken. She who had tried to ease the atmosphere by turning on the radio in the first place had felt it was too awkward to switch stations so the tension between them worsen the longer it goes. Even regret starts creeping in Sakura but she pushed the thoughts away. It was her idea anyway, picking Chaewon up.

But it was Chaewon whom had asked Sakura to be her partner in the variety show. When Chaewon was asked by the producer to bring a fellow idol along at the very last minute, it was her who had suggested the name 'Miyawaki Sakura'. She had admitted to that. And when asked why, the short haired girl had given the reason that Sakura is the only one who had nothing to do. It was that simple.

And yet, a small part of Sakura had hoped that it wasn’t true, or had wished that maybe Chaewon had another motive to invite her along in it.

Sakura knew Chaewon, the brunette would never ask anyone anything just because. There are a lot of other people who are free in the moment. Like Eunbi, that senior of theirs who was usually cooped up in recording studios composing music or producing songs for some idol groups. Or Minju, yes, Minju whose job was being MC and modelling these days, she would be perfect to be in a variety show with Chaewon.

So it wasn't wrong of her to had hoped for something more. After what had happened, this had seemed like a sign.

“I’m sorry,” Chaewon sighed, breaking Sakura from her train of thoughts.

Sakura had to stop herself from asking back ‘what for?’ That question would seriously make matter worse between them. So she nodded, merely acknowledging, not adding anything else, nor had pretended not to hear the apology. 

"I-"

"It's alright Won." She cuts off.

Sakura thought it was funny how a few months ago they would be making fun of each other whenever they met, which was all the time. The two would do almost everything together, spending every minutes stuck to each other like glue and they were even dubbed by friends as the inseparable duo. They would often went to the movies together, had late night drinks, video calls every nights if they weren't able to meet and had texted each other about random things all day.

But now, a single car ride together was suffocating enough.

It was all her fault, Sakura thought. She had ruined everything for the both of them by doing the stupidest thing she could do, drunk confessing to Chaewon on one night as they were drinking together with everyone else.

“The truth is... Honestly… Really, I love you Chaewon.”

It was amazing how she could even construct a proper sentence being that drunk. And to top it off she hadn't remember what had happened that night. But the memories came back to her eventually, in form of bits here and there, enough to make her regret it all and wanting to stay sober for the rest of her life.

She remembered saying the confession. And she blinked, looking around, waiting for a response. But all she had gotten was everyone’s confused looks, staring at her with their mouth hanging open. She blinked again and then there was someone’s hand on her shoulder.

“Dude, don’t joke about love.”

Sakura started to get angry then. She saw red and rage had filled her whole being, screaming profanity toward the person holding her. There was some struggle or maybe scuffle between her and others, but the next thing she knew she was holding onto Chaewon. And then forced a kiss.

And everything went black.

Sakura also remembered waking up and feeling pain on her face, especially the area under the eye. It had hurt to squint and equally troublesome to blink. She rather keep that one eye closed. Her confusion over the pain was answered when Sakura checked herself in the mirror. The skin around her right eye were bruised, purplish-blue, an obvious sign that someone had punched her but she can’t hadn’t been able to recall who had done it.

Chaewon arrived at her doorstep a couple of days later after zero communications between them, with a takeout food in her hand.

“You okay?” she asked, there was a slight concern in her voice.

Sakura nodded and let her in like it like always. Except it hadn’t been normal like usual. Something shifted with the confession and Sakura had also noticed hesitation when she had held the door open for Chaewon. But the short haired girl stepped in in the end and they sat at the living quietly for a few minutes, just staring at each other. The awkwardness continues until Chaewon reached for Sakura’s hand and she had let her.

“I know you don’t remember that night. And I will act like that never happened, okay? Nothing did.”

But Sakura doesn't want that.

She wanted Chaewon to remember that night because it was true. It was her feelings that spoke that night, not her barely sober self. The drunken state was a mere assistance to what was kept deep inside her, the secret a sober Sakura wouldn’t be able to admit. One she had to herself for years simply because she didn't want anything to change. But now that it was finally out, she had to accept the consequences, the undebatable truth that she was being rejected by the one person who had her heart.

It had pained Sakura but did not want to further ruin what they had, the comfort of having someone she loved always near her, always with her. Even when she wasn't accepted, even when the feelings wasn't reciprocated, Sakura was contented enough to stay.

And so she answered, bitterly, “Yeah, sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, idek what this is


	4. iv.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> iv.
> 
> ssamkkura/angst/predetermined end

It was absurd that she would agree to it in the first place, Sakura thought. And yet she knows well that the heart wants what it wants, even when she knows what she - no, it wasn’t _just_ her. The two of them knew what they were getting into. And they both had agreed to it regardless.

Despite the warnings given by their close friends and the constant mention of futility of starting something that has a clear predetermined end, Sakura and Chaewon had dated each other.

Their first meeting wasn’t special, in fact Sakura could barely remember Chaewon’s name as everyone introduced themselves in class. Chaewon however noticed Sakura right away. How could she not, when the other girl had looked as if she came from a modelling magazine Chaewon had often browse through as teen. She was in awe over her beauty. And Chaewon remembered Sakura especially well since the girl has flower as her name.

Despite the close proximity and constantly seeing each other in classes and lectures, the two were nothing but classmates for the whole three years of college. Their interactions were minimal as they both had their own small clique; Chaewon had stuck around with her loud friends from high school whereas Sakura had preferred the comfort of quietness on the back of the class with a few others who she shared notes with.

Therefore when the two decided to get together years after their graduation, everyone was more than surprised. How could Chaewon woo the calm and dazzling Sakura? Or was the role reversed? People asked. Was it Sakura who had first approached the bubbly girl? Their friends and acquaintance could only assume when neither of the two would confirm their stories.

Sakura would answer ‘it’s a secret’ while Chaewon shrug and giggle shyly.

The pair had preferred to keep it to themselves, the story about how they had gotten together. It wasn’t something they had discussed on keeping quiet of, but rather both had felt the same way about it from the very beginning. Let it be just us who knows that precious memory, they thought.

Selfishly they both then kept the story to themselves, one buried deep inside untainted by false exaggeration and commentary by others.

She had never admitted to it but the little voice in Sakura’s head had also questioned, why bother telling anyone how they got together when it will end anyway? Even when it wasn’t anything grandeur anyway.

Their meeting after graduation happened on accident in the most cliché way anyone could think of. A coffee shop a few minutes away from the place Sakura was working at was also an arm length away from where Chaewon was staying. And yet in a city with hundred thousands of populations, the probability of two people crossing each other’s paths was so minuscule that they both assumed they had met by winning the life’s lottery.

By chance, or luck (or fate, Chaewon would say when she’s feeling sappy because she wasn’t a coffee drinker in the first place) the pair had stopped for drinks at that one coffee shop on the same time, same day.

When Sakura walked over to the counter to pick up her drink, she was greeted with sound of recognition from the side. Their eyes met and soft smile was exchanged. They had hugged too, even when they had never done so before. But it wasn’t an awkward encounter.

It was... warm, Sakura would say when she reminisces that moment later on. Chaewon had agreed she had felt the same.

The delight of seeing old familiar faces made the pair closer, making plans to get together which both was eager to fulfil. A few months after that accidental meet-up, both Sakura and Chaewon harboured mutual feelings for each other. It wasn’t until Sakura’s male colleague asking her out for a date that Chaewon finally acted, fueled by jealousy. She confessed, slurring the words in her rush to get it over and done with. Sakura had looked beautiful and dazzling that day, but Chaewon was too nervous to even meet the other girl in the eye. 

To her surprise, instead of getting rejected like she had imagined countless of times in her head, Sakura had cupped Chaewon's face and kissed her right on the lips. It was short, no tongue involved but Chaewon had immediately felt lightheaded afterward. Her knees buckled and she would’ve fell flat onto the pavement if Sakura hadn’t caught her.

Sheepishly they avoided eye contact, both still embarrassed.

But Chaewon knew she had to tell the truth before they go any further than the kiss. Sakura deserves that much.

“I’m engaged to someone else... family’s choice. But Sakura, I love you.”

The relationship was doomed before it had even started. But they continued anyway, cherishing the moments they have with each other. Having an expiration date had made the kisses shared sweeter and every touch even more meaningful. 

They had tried too, after all how could any of them let go of each other without a fight. Sakura's knees were weak and she stuttered herself when talking, but still she had stood tall in front of Chaewon's parents, asking for permission to marry the daughter. But when given the ultimatum to choose between family or love, Sakura couldn't bear to let her beloved choose. It was unfair for Chaewon.

It was unfair and cruel for both of them, even when they knew the possibility of rejection from the start. It was an inevitable end, one the pair had prepared themselves for.

When the times of separation finally came, the regrets were there, surely. At the very least both Sakura and Chaewon knew their love are real and they had given their all. 

However what's not meant to be will never be. The cruel fact of life will forever haunt them that being in love is simply isn't enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspired by modern love podcast episode titled Devoted but doomed.


	5. v.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> v. 
> 
> ssamkkura/idk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is definitely not a ficlet since this fic is around 1.9k words. i tried stopping but its kinda fun to write. at this point I'm too lazy to create a new fic and thinking of the title so I'm hiding it here.

It wasn't a date. It was definitely **_not_** a date, Chaewon thought when the person she had been accompanying for the past hour was being distant. Aside from a few grunts and a couple of Sakura's infamous line, the 'ah, yeah'(s), the response she had gotten from the older girl was minimal. Chaewon knew she’s exaggerating but she believed that the number of sentences shared between her and Sakura could be counted with only her two hands. That had made her feel somewhat annoyed.

If Chaewon were asked to rate her experience of ‘an afternoon in the company of _the_ Miyawaki Sakura’, she would’ve given it a three star, out of ten. It was awkward. It wasn’t fun. And she definitely does not want to do it again nor recommend it to anyone else.

So then that raises the million dollar question of how on earth did things go this way? 

Chaewon asked herself the same thing again and again throughout the time they had spent together. As expected, no matter how much she wracked her brain, there was no definite answer to be found. Everything she had thought of would be assumptions and seeing how Sakura had seemed reluctant to talk - about anything at all - she probably won’t be getting the answer right.

But still, it was weird. They both had agreed to this plan, to hang out together during the weekend. And Chaewon knows for sure that Sakura was as excited for the day to come as she is too; it shows in the older girl’s texts and her occasional "can't wait for our hang out," whenever they crossed paths during office lunch break. There was also plenty of time for the older girl to call the plan off if she wanted to. And yet she still came.

Everything had seemed to be alright before the promised time. They had even exchanged texts asking what the other was up to earlier that day. Sakura mentioned she was clearing her daily quest in this one game she was really into while Chaewon was just chilling. 

"Just chilling?" the text reads. It was Sakura.

"Yeah," Chaewon replied. 

"Define chilling," 

“According to the most trustworthy dictionary on the internet, chilling would be a cool way of telling someone you sat around doing nothing.”

Chaewon had chuckled over her own response and she hoped Sakura would be amused by it. And the older girl did, she had shown so by spamming five stickers of a cat laughing while rubbing its belly. 

“Lol, yeah I would definitely trust urban dictionary than definitions from some cambridge or merriam-webster,”

Before Chaewon could respond, another text bubble popped up. 

“Gtg. boss fight. C u l8r,”

So yes, based on that one correspondence it was right to deduce that they are chummy, and that they’re comfortable enough to joke with each other. Plus all these while Chaewon had thought they were pretty good colleagues too. Despite being in different departments, they who started talking during lunch break spent in a shared pantry room are unquestionably not strangers to each other. They converse regularly at work and they text each other pretty often.

So how was it that things didn't feel the same when they finally met up offline and outside of work? Does Sakura has a split personality outside office, like a switch flipped and she’s suddenly someone else in real life? Or did Chaewon had hurt the older girl somehow and not realising she had done so?

Chaewon tried to backtrack and recall anything that could have upset her friend (and longtime crush) but there was nothing. 

She scratched her head as she looked toward the girl who was standing five feet away, looking up toward the schedule displayed above the ticketing counter of the cinema. They had agreed to watch a movie together but now after all the silent treatment she had been receiving, Chaewon wasn't sure if she wanted to proceed. Whatever was wrong between them needed to stop.

But as she thought about it more, Chaewon knew she should've realised something was up when the Sakura who was usually beautifully dressed to work was unusually sloppy that day. The older girl had a cap on, wore an oversized hoodie paired with tracksuits and they were all black. She had looked like a broody teenager next to Chaewon who wore bright coloured top and knee length jeans. 

After too much time spent being confused, she finally decided to address the elephant in the room. 

“Sakura, I don't like you being quiet like this. If you don’t want to hang out with me you should've said no,”

The older girl froze, then moved rather awkwardly, turning her whole body around to face Chaewon. Despite the lack of eye contact, there was confusion written on Sakura’s face.

“W- What?”

“Let’s just go home,” Chaewon sighed. She’s finally giving up, there’s no way she could take the cold treatment any longer. It was all so confusing and her head had hurt. So does her heart.

Chaewon had been looking forward to the day so much that when it had turned out to be horrible, she felt wrecked inside. Disappointed and devastated was probably an understatement.

She after all had liked Sakura for quite some time that she was the one who had first proposed the idea to meet somewhere outside of work. Imagined the relief she had felt then when the older girl had agreed to it. Elated, joy, Sakura’s simple act of agreeing to the mere idea had given Chaewon a boost of happiness inducing hormones. She was so delighted that in some way, somehow she started imagining and calling the ‘hang out’ a date. But now when everything that she had hoped for turned out disappointing, she was beyond crushed that she wanted to cry.

As Chaewon struggled with containing her feelings inside, tears rolled down her cheeks. She hastily wiped them with the back of her hand but a sob escaped her afterwards.

Sakura who was still avoiding eye contact finally fixed her attention onto the girl before her. And with it her expression softened and then came the concern. Even her voice was gentle as she asked Chaewon what was wrong.

“What do you mean what was wrong?” Chaewon snapped. “You're the one being weird today. I don't like this, I don't like you who is all quiet and distant, Sakura. You don’t talk at all and when you do you gave me short grunts and those weird dismissive noises. You rather look anywhere else but me and you've been giving us space as if we’re two strangers who happened to walk toward the same place. Also look! We’re so far apart a car could park between us,”

Chaewon almost laughed at her own joke then but she held onto the frustration, steeling herself from further destruction as she confronted the now silent girl. She watched as Sakura’s mouth opened, then closed in an attempt to say something. But seeing how in the end the older girl's jaw clenched but she had still stayed quiet, Chaewon knew Sakura was speechless at her outburst. She was right in the end, there was no way to ever get an answer to her earlier question, the what and the why.

Chaewon was about to continue with her rants off displeasure rants she finally felt the weight of the passersby stare, eyes glued onto them, noticing something was wrong between the pair. It had not felt bad at first but the situation worsened when some people had even stopped to listen. Chaewon does not like being the center of attention but it was her own fault for stupidly bursting out in public. The longer the uncomfortable silence went on, the heavier and nagging the feeling of wanting to flee grew in her. She needed to leave and she better do it soon.

“Sakura,” she called out and the older girl answered with a meek "uh?"

“You don’t look like you enjoyed the day at all so I’m going home,” she said before walking away, escaping the small crowds that were starting to form around them. With large strides, Chaewon hurriedly made her way to a more secluded place, trying to hide from everyone.

When she was about to take the elevator down the shopping mall, her hand was suddenly grabbed from behind. The unexpected act had stopped her so abruptly that Chaewon lost her balance. However the hand that was holding hers had a stronger grip. That and combined with the person’s other hand grabbing onto Chaewon’s waist, she was saved from falling onto the tiled floor. 

A familiar face greeted her, one she adored for so long.

“I’m sorry,” Sakura breathes. Due to the positions of her hands, one still holding onto Chaewon’s waist, the older girl had her face dangerously close to the other. 

Chaewon tried to flee but Sakura’s grip on her tightened. There was no sign of her letting go anytime soon.

“I’m so sorry. I didn't realise I was making you feel bad the whole time..."

She continued, "I know this sounds like a silly excuse, it really is a terrible excuse but… I have to be honest, this hanging out had felt like a date. And I’m embarrassed about it, about me thinking it was a date and me wanting it to be a date… because of it I had made everything awkward.”

Sakura paused, and due to their close proximity Chaewon couldn't help but to notice pink streaks forming on the older girl’s cheeks. Her ears however were brick red, betraying the composure.

“I’m sorry I wasn't attentive to your feelings… and I’m sorry for treating you that way. It's okay if you don't want to spend any more time with me or if you don't want to speak to me again. Just please… Please don't hate me,” Sakura pleaded.

Instead of answering, or saying anything, Chaewon gestured toward her hand that was being held and Sakura finally got the point. The older one released her hold slowly, ensuring Chaewon was stable on her own two feet. And she waits, her eyes searching for a response she desperately wanted. 

Despite feeling aggravated by the whole cold treatment that had caused her to make a scene in public, Chaewon who had been secretly harbouring feelings all these while had also felt relieved. She too was scared of rejection and now that the cat was out of the bag, the entire thing had instead looked ridiculous. How they both had hoped it was an actual date but their actions was 180 different.

If Chaewon hadn’t gotten mad, she guessed she would never know what Sakura was actually feeling, or what the older girl wanted from her. Ironically, in the end it was the same thing.

“Well?” Sakura cleared her throat nervously. “Let me walk you back home, at least…”

Instead of answering, Chaewon held out her hand, the same one that Sakura had held onto moments ago. The older girl watched the action closely but she was clueless to what it had meant.

“I too had hoped that this ‘hang out’ would be a date. And I did ask you out with that intention. While I'm happy you got the hint right, I really don’t like the nervous quiet and distant you,” Chaewon smiled. “I’m sorry as well, for my outburst, I should've clarified what I wanted from the start so that you don’t get confused and frustrated. But since you and I both wanted this to be a date... Should we try again? Do you want to hold my hand?”

Sheepishly and nervously, Sakura reached for the younger girl’s hand.

“I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> while it's true we know the group will come to disbandment eventually and that we signed up for something temporary, I can't deny that there are some things which no amount of preparation we have can ever be enough. also being a bigass crybaby who cry at every single thing (me crying when I dropped food as i was about to eat it) i think it's alright to be sad about this. its also alright to feel conflicted over it. i think it's alright to feel. you're human.  
> also idk what will happen in the future but i still want to sail this sinking ship :)


End file.
